i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
