dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
