I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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