i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
