He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
