Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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