I accidentally burped into my bong.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
