it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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