First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
