i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
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