Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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