This is not my ceiling
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
