I forgot how hot balto sounded
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
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