Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
