i just wanna soil my oats bro
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I can feel your judgement through the phone
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
