I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
