Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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