I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
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I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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