Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
