I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
