See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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