Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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