The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
