Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
