I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
