I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
