Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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