This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i want to swaddle you in tequila
It's official drugs can't kill me
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
