I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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