She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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