11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
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We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
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i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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