Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
