Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
