Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
