so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize