I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
they need to just BURY HIM!
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Damn victory sex feels great
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
