youre lurking in front of me
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
