i can't believe i had my finger in that
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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