i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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