I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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