He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
