please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
