I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
