Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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