So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
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just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
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My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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