At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize