the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Randomize
