Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up

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(516): View more from New York

sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.

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(702): View more from Nevada

If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???

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(904): View more from Florida

all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.

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(518): View more from New York

I want a grilled cheese and an IV

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(510): View more from California

Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.

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(702): View more from Nevada

you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment

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(206): View more from Washington

I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...

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