ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
