Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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