Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs. http://tfl.nu/mr7a
  Replies (3) Good night (1084) Bad night (734)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial http://tfl.nu/135m
  Replies (7) Good night (1327) Bad night (942)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis. http://tfl.nu/lwww
  Replies (57) Good night (6075) Bad night (1016)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (213): I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered' http://tfl.nu/8qxk
  Replies (12) Good night (4965) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.

  (1-416): View more from Ontario

  u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck. (1-416): u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u http://tfl.nu/rica
  Replies (16) Good night (1172) Bad night (3794)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors http://tfl.nu/9psa
  Replies (65) Good night (16733) Bad night (1340)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers. http://tfl.nu/k6c6
  Replies (26) Good night (6198) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!? http://tfl.nu/85fy
  Replies (18) Good night (9620) Bad night (1196)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck. http://tfl.nu/xyly
  Replies (15) Good night (1025) Bad night (5255)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her. http://tfl.nu/wlqs
  Replies (26) Good night (5060) Bad night (1226)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him http://tfl.nu/vd38
  Replies (11) Good night (1904) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me. http://tfl.nu/5d5j
  Replies (3) Good night (2025) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form. http://tfl.nu/cz7h
  Replies (1) Good night (616) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke http://tfl.nu/er3q
  Replies (3) Good night (512) Bad night (311)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling. http://tfl.nu/4o2r
  Replies (2) Good night (506) Bad night (195)

Randomize