So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
They have beer where we have blood.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize