What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize