Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
