A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A+ Viking dick
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I had to cum in my sink.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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