He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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