turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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