alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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