u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
