he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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