woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
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I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
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my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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