you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
