Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
